


Thermos

by silver_hawthorn



Series: Invasion of the Watchtower [5]
Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Batfamily (DCU), Bruce Wayne is a Good Parent, Bruce is a tired dad, Gen, Jason is a little shit, Not Canon Compliant
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-23
Updated: 2020-12-23
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:28:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28256943
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silver_hawthorn/pseuds/silver_hawthorn
Summary: “Um, can I help you?”“Yeah, actually. Have you seen a red thermos? About this tall, with a sticker on the side? The sticker’s a Tolkien quote?”“Uhhhh...no?”“Well shit.”
Relationships: Jason Todd & Bruce Wayne
Series: Invasion of the Watchtower [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2051841
Comments: 7
Kudos: 429





	Thermos

**Author's Note:**

> Set in a universe where the Justice League is aware of the Gotham heroes, but don't know that they're Batman's kids (until recently).

“Yo.”

Barry tried really hard not to flinch at the sight of an unfamiliar, extremely bulky, helmeted man in the middle of the kitchen. The stranger rummaged around in one of the cabinets, humming with displeasure as he removed a mug and placed it on the counter.

“Um, can I help you?”  
“Yeah, actually. Have you seen a red thermos? About this tall,” the man held up his hands, about a foot apart, “with a sticker on the side? The sticker’s a Tolkien quote?”  
“Uhhhh...no?”  
“Well shit.”

The man swung the cabinet door shut with a bang and sighed, glancing around the room with his hands on his hips.

Barry eyed the bright red bat that was sprayed across the man’s armor and the guns that were holstered at his sides. He knew that Bruce hated guns and refused to kill. This man could be a threat.

But a memory of Red Robin mentioning a brother with a different red themed name, when the teen was last in the Watchtower, floated to the front of his mind.

“...are you one of Batman’s kids?”

The man snorted and turned his blank stare towards Barry. It was only slightly terrifying. Barry forced his shoulders to stay relaxed. His hand twitched to press his comm.

“Yeah, I am. Though dear old dad is probably too disappointed in me to mention me, huh?”  
Barry blinked rapidly at the man’s words and cool tone.  
That was...not expected. From his experiences meeting Bruce’s (many) children, they had all seemed to love Bruce and Bruce seemed to adore them.  
The man leaned back against the counter.  
“Yup. I’m the black sheep of the family. B-man can barely even look at me. It’s sad, but c'est la vie, what is one to do-“  
“Jay, please stop tarnishing my reputation as a father.”

Batman swept into the room, Diana and Hal close behind. Hal glanced at the stranger, startled, as Diana sighed good-naturedly.

The man pressed a hand to his chest dramatically.  
“But Father, this hero asked me about our relationship. I had to tell him the truth. How you care not for my feelings or thoughts, how you despise my very presence, how you refuse my basic needs?”  
“Is this about me taking your thermos and not returning it right away?”  
“Yes, very much so.”

A muscle in Bruce’s jaw twitched as Diana slapped a hand over her mouth to stop her laughter.

Despite the man wearing a helmet, Barry couldn’t help but believe that he was grinning.

“Hood. I promised that I will return your thermos. You didn’t have to break into the Watchtower.”

Hood shrugged. “Almost everyone else has at this point. Seemed appropriate.”

Bruce’s jaw tightened. “Please don’t encourage Robin to break in.”  
With a cackle, Hood patted Batman’s shoulder and moved to exit the room, “Too late, B. I think he’s been plotting to get in since Red dropped by. I expect to see my thermos tonight at dinner.”

With a wave over his shoulder, Hood exited the room.

Barry turned to stare at Bruce as Hal rounded on the vigilante.  
“Was that the Red Hood? As in, the crime lord?”  
“Yes.”  
“...how many kids do you have?!?”

Bruce looked up wearily, “It depends on if you’re asking legally, biologically, or emotionally. They’re all different answers. If you excuse me, I have to find that thermos, before Hood decides to disown me again.”

As Bruce swept out, Diana spoke through her snickers. “I thought that he disowned you last time you refused to let him drive the Batmobile.”  
“At this point, Diana, I think it’s a weekly occurrence.”

**Author's Note:**

> Jason: Woe is me, my father hates me  
> Bruce: Jaylad, last weekend, you sobbed into my shoulder while watching Return of the King and I carried you up to your room to tuck you in. Please stop telling my friends that I hate you  
> Jason: I’m so sad, rip *dramatically collapses on the couch*
> 
> All I’m saying is that Jason is definitely a theater kid, so definitely deals with all his problems by being dramatic af


End file.
